I, as with most women, live by a number on the scale. My entire life I’ve been trained to focus on the number. As I’ve made progress down the weight loss journey road Sainted Mary and I have also been monitoring my body fat percentage. Yet, I still focus on the number. I’m trying to change. Really, I am.
This summer when I was inured and cut off from working out I immediately noticed a huge drop in the scale. Sainted Mary reminded me that was from my muscles not retaining water from repairing themselves. She was right, the minute I was cleared to start working out again boom up the scale went again. I know, I know, it’s just water, but I was SO focused on getting to a very specific number. F&%*^&@
When I was out on the #ECSUT course I had a lot of time to think. What was more important? Was it the number on the scale? Or was it the ability to go out and do all of the crazy things that I love to do? It was out in the mountains of Park City that I realized that I wanted to be the strongest version of myself. Because, dammit, I like being active with my friends! I like not being the weakest one. I want to be able to push hard and not break!
When I returned and shared my insights, gained in the mountains, with Sainted Mary and she laughed. She laughed because she had already been there and was just waiting for me to get there. “With all of the crazy hiking, running, etc that you love to do you need all the muscle you can get.” Ah yet another reason why I love Sainted Mary. Ah the old adage of you can lead a horse to water……smart woman.
We made some changes to my nutritional plan and then we discussed how over the winter I was going to focus on gaining strength in order to make me a better runner. Then we had to have “the talk”:
“You do realize that as you put muscle on the scale is going to go up, right??”
(sighing) “Yes…..” I begrudgingly acknowledged.
“You also realize that muscle takes up less space than fat does so you will actually be getting smaller, right????”
(sighing and with a twinge of eye rolling) “Yes….”
Why was this concept so hard for me to embrace? Why did she have to keep reminding me of this? Because, well, numbers are what we women have been trained from birth to go off of. This is why continuing to work with Sainted Mary is so important. She reminds me of all of the things that I know, but then I stand on the scale and all hell breaks loose. This is why we do body fat readings in addition to the number on the scale. Now instead of focusing on the number on the scale, we are trying to get my body fat numbers down. I started out in 2015 at 36.4%. Now I’m at 28.3% and dropping that number a safe clip. Ok, ok, I’ll admit I still look at the scale. I do. I’m trying to change. I promise. Change is hard, but change is good.