HUGE news: Circa 1995

Sometimes things happen for a reason.  I was scheduled to go camping this weekend.  Instead my plans changed and I was home to receive an email from New York and Company touting their 50% off everything no exclusions sale.  Knowing that; a.) my current clothes are falling off of me, b.) I have nothing in my wardrobe even remotely Fall-like, and c.) I hate shopping AND spending money, I decided to go ahead and bite the bullet. I took this as a sign from the Universe that it was tired of watching me hitch my britches up all the time.

I had looked at the size chart before I even walked into the store so I already knew that I was going to fall somewhere in the 8-10 range.  I picked up a pair of pants in both sizes and headed to the dressing room.  Might as well get this over with, I thought, as I slipped into the size 8’s not thinking they would fit.  They pulled up…. they buttoned….they zipped……

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???!?!?!?!?!?


Okay that may not have been the f word that left my mouth.

I looked in the mirror.  I turned around looking at the rear in the mirror.  They weren’t quite perfect.  Five more pounds and they would be good.  Knowing that I have another 10 pounds (15 if I can get Sainted Mary to agree to it) to go I bought them.  HELL YEAH, DAMN SKIPPY I bought them and several more just like them.

It has been over 20 years since I have fit into a size 8.  No wonder why my britches have been falling off.  I am so freaking giddy.  Not only am I still loosing weight, but I’m doing it the healthy way! I am proud of myself.  I’m proud of the choices I’ve made.  And I’m damn proud of the bag full of new clothes waiting to go into the washing machine.

 

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Willpower is a super power

I have several friends who are into comics and super heros; you know, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, etc.  I have never truly gotten into super heroes.  OK, that’s not totally true when I was 5 I had Wonder Woman under roos, but I digress.  However, after this week I really think I need to begin to rethink the whole super hero thing.  No, I can’t fly, although that would be awesome, my super power would be willpower.

This week has been exceptionally hard for me.  I have struggled all week with wanting to eat+all+the+thingseat, eat, eat.  My nemesis, the petulant 4 year old in my head who stomps her feet and throws a raging temper tantrum, kept whining how she was HUNGRY and that one day of over eating wouldn’t hurt me.    I, however, have not done that.  I have flexed my super power over and over.  More tea?  Yes, please.  More broth?  Yes, please.  There were days where my nemesis almost won, but she did not.

Yesterday I was faced with my ultimate test; a house warming party with no exchanges left over.  See, I was up at 4am to go running before the temperature got out of control.  This meant, however, I was completely out of exchanged by 2pm.  Uh oh.

I showed up at the party and was immediately faced with all sorts of amazing food choices.  You name it and it was there.  I poured myself a glass of water and ignored the food.  My nemesis started squawking, “Come on, have some chips.  A couple won’t kill you.” I’m not quite sure the fight scene that occurred between Willpower and Nemesis I’ imagining a fight scene like the old Batman TV show (the originally), but I’m guessing that Nemesis wound up bound and gagged because after I walked away from the chip bowl I never heard another peep.  I made it through an entire party without consuming or imbibing a single thing other than water. I’m beyond proud of myself.

Social functions are exactly that, social. Eating (or drinking) calories is my choice.  The word no is a very powerful word.  Having friends that respect the word no is even more powerful.   Every day there is a new test.  Every day there is yet another battle royale between my old self and my new self.  However, every day I am getting a little stronger and a little more powerful.  Maybe there is something to be said for being my own super hero! Hmm, I wonder if they still make Wonder Woman under roos…..

I can’t isn’t in my vocabulary

My DNA carries some pretty powerful stubbornness. Combine that with a father who ingrained into me that it didn’t matter if I was a girl I was expected to do all of the chores he assigned and I will admit it is the perfect cocktail for making me willful.  Sometimes much to my own detriment (a la the hives I had in March).  That being said it is also my greatest asset.

Recently I was approached by an asthma company to “tell my story”.  When I popped up their Instagram page it will filled with lots of people saying that they “can’t” because of their asthma.  My jaw hit the ground.  Is this the message we want to be sending to people? Just because you have asthma you “can’t” do things?

Now, don’t get me wrong my asthma is extremely severe.  When they tried to put me on a clinical trial a couple of years ago they had to disqualify me because I ‘might’ wind up in the placebo group and my breathing off of my medication is, well, in a word horrible.  I believe the phrase the screener used was “dangerous levels of O2.” Therefore, I know I absolutely have to do what I can to help myself out.   I take my drugs every day.  I carry my inhaler everywhere I go.  My house has no carpet.  I control my environment where I can (a la bed casings). I don’t go to certain parts of the globe because, well, it will kill me.  Honestly, though, that’s about where my line ends.  If I did all of the things that I “shouldn’t” do because of my asthma I’d live in a bubble.  Being single I even do things that are on the definite no no list (lawn mowing, vacuuming) because if I don’t do them then who will?

There are days (like tonight) where my breathing is more challenged.  Even in an air conditioned studio my chest was tight.  I knew that I had to get it under control quick or risk disturbing an entire spin class.  However, I recognized the early warning signs and I took care of it.  That is truly the key to having asthma.  Find your limits and then push against them just a little bit because the next thing you know your boundary will be bigger than it was before.

Just like with running.  Never in a million years did I think I’d run 4 miles without stopping from my lungs aching, but I did it the other day. Granted, not every day is a good day. Nor am I breaking any land speed records, but I’m running.  Just like every other human being.  I push myself, on my good days, to go a little further without stopping.  On the bad days?  I still run, but there may be a bit more walking in there.

I may have asthma, but it doesn’t have me.  I will finish.  I may not get there as fast as everyone else.  I may not get there without having to take extra medicine.  I may not get there without having my trusted alert dog by my side.  I WILL get there.

Officially gone crazy pants

This week has been a VERY big week for me.  First, I had a discussion with Sainted Mary about lowering my goal weight by 5 pounds which she agreed to.  More importantly however, I have committed myself in writing via money/cash/dollarswhat/dinero for wait for it; over 69.3 miles of running.  What the wha????

See, yesterday I dropped into the mail my EX2Adventures Fall Backyard Burn series registration. Of course the 10 mile option.  Duh.  I do oh so love running with the EX2 crew.  The added bonus is that I’ve really been knuckling down on my heart rate training (for a later entry)  which means hopefully I won’t be dragging my tush around Fountainhead…again…..I’m not doing all 6 of their races as I will be completing the half marathon with Jewell for one of them, but yes, indeed, I signed up for the other 5.  Mildly crazy, but considering that I did their spring series not completely off my rocker.

That was only the foreplay though to the real show this week;

I GOT INTO THE GLASS SLIPPER CHALLENGE!!!!!!

After many fits and starts (and a quick sprint to my car to use my phone to register) both C and I got into the Run Disney Glass Slipper Challenge.  What is this challenge?  It is a 10k on Saturday with a half marathon on Sunday.  Yes, you read that correctly.  19.3 miles in two days.  I’ve officially gone crazy pants.  On the upside, running in Florida in February will be much better for this asthmatic than running in DC in February.  Yes, yes, because THAT’S why I’m running and it has nothing to do with being a crazy pants.  Nope, nope.  Nothing to see here. Move along.

Christmas in July

Shopping.  Something most women enjoy and something I detest.  I’ve spoken about how much I dislike weight loss specifically for the clothes shopping before, but I think I’ve found a way around shopping; closet swapping! I have a friend who by way of a medical condition no longer fits into her clothes.  Funny enough, I no longer fit into MY clothes.  Her new size is my old size and vice versa.  It couldn’t be any more perfect if we planned it.

I drove down three large bags of clothes to her house and picked up six.  I told her I had more clothes for her, but I was reluctant to truly empty out my closet and drawers all in one fell swoop.  Something about a completely empty closet is just depressing.   I brought the new clothes home and as I started pulling things out of the bag I laughed because our tastes in clothes are incredibly similar, and we’ve never shopped one microsecond together.  There were a couple of sweaters, cool dresses, tops….it was like Christmas in July.  Oh! And jammies! I now have more than one pair of jammies!!!  Yay!!

As I made my way through all of the clothes I came across a bunch of jeans (she is an awesome stay at home Mom so she needs lots of jeans) I found a pair of 12 skinny jeans.  In my mind as I slipped them on I thought, “Well that would give me something to work towards.”  Wait a second….they fit….NOW!!!!  I took them off, checked the size again, and put them back on.  HOLY BISCUITS, GRAVY, CHEESE AND CRACKERS, they fit!!!! Are you kidding me?????

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“Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!”
Dr. Seuss,  Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

Elation does not even begin to describe the feeling I have right now.  Getting those clothes to fit and knowing that I am not done with my journey yet gave me the confidence to go through my clothes and drawers and put the rest of my clothes into bags for her.  Because some day these new skinny clothes will be too big too for I still have more weight to loose!