I’m a worrier. It’s what I do. New things? Forget it. I will obsess over the tiniest of details. It took me several months to commit to a new washing machine. I like predictability. I can deal with chaos as long as I knew it was coming. God bless the friends who have traveled with me (and stuck around after) because I am borderline neurotic. I will pack/unpack/repack several times before I am satisfied. Maps, research, where we will go, how we will get there, yeah, I’m that person. It makes me feel better doing the research. I wish that there were things in my life that I could just be free with, but running isn’t one of them either.
Last weekend is a classic example. I was scheduled for my 7 mile run. I spent all week fretting over the tiniest of details. Where I would run, what trail was appropriate, what was the weather going to be, please don’t force me to have to do this on the treadmill. The list goes on and on. Sunday morning I obsessively refreshed my weather app until the temperature was above freezing. Why? I didn’t want to have to wear my ColdAvenger for the first couple of miles and then have the temperature warm up and have to then wear it around my neck.
What’s ironic; whether it be with travel or running, once I’m moving all of my fears and frets go away. With travel once I’m on the road (or at the airport gate) I’m fine. Once Perry is clipped into his harness I’m fine. I don’t know what this is, but it just is. This is probably the reason why when I do my races without him I have such a hard time. I don’t have that moment where I let go.
This coming weekend I’m suppose to do an 8 mile run. What am I doing? The same exact things I did last weekend; fret about where to run, weather, etc. You’d think I’d learn or become more relaxed about it. Nah, it’s part who I am. I’ve learned to embrace it. Thank goodness Perry doesn’t seem to mind. All he wants to do is run.